i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's the barista slut.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize