.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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