I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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