He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
