I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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