Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
