why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
