She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize