just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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