She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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