so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize