if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
