I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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