Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
