Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize