At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
