Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
