why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
