He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
PANTIES FOUND
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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