I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
