Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
