He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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