he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
