the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
