I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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