it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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