CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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