is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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