Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.

Fav 14 1214 2990
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(248): View more from Michigan

Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.

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(712): View more from Iowa

We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me

Fav 2 1352 1231
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(770): View more from Georgia

possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer

Fav 0 596 726
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...

Fav 2 546 806
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(904): View more from Florida

And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...

Fav 4 724 536
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(415): View more from California

He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands

Fav 17 470 650
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(319): View more from Iowa

Dear god my vagina.

Fav 0 45 8
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