Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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