It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
