my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
