I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
