You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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