question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize