I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize