Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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