It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
