If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
