There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
