Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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