My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
