id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize