in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
