we have pet lesbian snakes
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
