i jhust puked up my retainher.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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