Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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