i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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