I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
