Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
