What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
