Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
