We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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