Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
