u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
