Fuck appropriateness.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's always time for handjobs
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
