weddingsv make me drug and hornr
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
