worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
