Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
that's an acceptable place to lick
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
