If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
