I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
