week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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