HIV tests are more positive than that guy
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He? As in you personified your dick?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize