I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
