I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
