dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
