dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
