Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize