I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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