Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
