This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
