we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
