Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
