.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
