i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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