i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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