I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
