oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
