Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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